So, yeah, I've recently been let into the fact that, no only I'm an honor student, but I'm in the running for valedictorian! WOW! ^^ I know I won't get it, but I don't mind losing to who I -think- will get it. He's a pretty good friend of mine, a bit stuck on himself at times, but pretty good nonetheless. He's earned it...maybe not so much this last nine weeks, but overall, he's earned it.

I don't know...I'm just so close to getting away from everything, breaking from my hometown and my family. I'm so excited, so insanely excited about finally taking this final step toward independance. At the same time, I'm anxious that I won't be able to meet my own standards, or those of my parents, and that I'll...drop out of college or make too many stupid decisions or something. Yeah, I'm paranoid, probably to an unhealthy extent, but I just can't help it.

I'm especially worried about my two best friends, who happen to be dating each other. They'll be going to the same college I am, and I'll be rooming with one of them. I'm nervous for her, she's always a bit unstable...and she just won't confide in me. I want to be her friend, I want to be the very best friend I can be to her, but knowing what I know about her, I can't help but think she might be looking down her nose at me. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, can take care of himself, but he's so stressed out from her, and trying to pay for college, and dealing with his family, that he always seems like he'll explode into a million pieces. They're both good about putting on an act when I'm around, but I'm not stupid. They're both unhappy, and neither can do anything about it without hurting the other...or at least, they -could- do something reasonable about it, but one's just too stubborn to realize that. I just pray that maybe things won't be this way in college, or -I- might snap at one of them. I have an extraordinary amount of patience, but I'm only human and that will only go so far...

I just don't know what to do.